I'm finding it hard to breathe,
I'm finding it hard to put myself up,
I could easily put on a smile,
But deep inside my heart is ache with pain,
So I placed a veil over my face,
That others cannot tell what I'm feeling.
I'm filled with guilt,
Sick with shame,
It is only a feeling,
Yet it is so difficult to forget.
If only the events were reversible,
I wouldn't even be there that night.
I could only hope,
Tomorrow would be a better day for me,
But for whatever reason should I deserve this?
I do not deserve this...
Finding it hard to ask for forgiveness,
Though all I have to say is "Sorry",
My tongue is tied by my guilt,
My eyes turn away from goodness and mercy,
I deeply want them, but I don't derserve them.
So I quieten my heart and hide myself in the dark.
Who am I, I no longer know,
The person I was,I'm still searching for her,
How I lost her, I don't even know,
It happened like a thieve in the night,
All I could remember,
Is I was a happier person, who knew what contenment was,
Who was joyful in all her days,
Knowing her confidence was in the Lord.
She used to turn to prayers for strength,
Hymns for joyfulness,
Reflections for thankfulness..
Now I'm not even that,
Who am I ?I no longer know..
Before I know it,
I was already a broken vessel.
I mourned for my fragility,
For the events were irreversible,
Potter, will You fix me up again?
This pot has been broken so many times,
But even so a potter would not want a broken pot.
He may fix it once, fix it twice, but by the third,
He sees this pot is useless,
His efforts were taken in vain.
So in what manner do I deserve God's Grace?
For I am like the broken pot, and He is my Potter..
There is no difference between me and the pot..
